For some couples, reading outside of the office helps clarify the understanding they gain during sessions. For those people there are a handful of resources I go back to again and again and I’ve listed them below. The specific ways they apply to you and your relationship are of course unique but the general concepts talked about help everyone!
- Come As Your Are by Emily Nagoski
For my couples interested in having a more satisfying sexual relationship, or just wanting to learn more about sexuality, I always recommend this book. After reading it, I recently heard Emily speak and was totally blown away! She’s awesome because she’s able to take a subject that so many of us have difficulty talking about with each other and helps make it more comfortable. The book is full of straight-up information about anatomy and sexuality. But it also offers guidance about how to have a more satisfying sexual life – by encouraging us to think about cultivating it. She talks about the difference between spontaneous and responsive sexual desire. When we first get together, our desire is spontaneous – and then after time we lose that spontaneity but continue to expect our partner to have that desire toward us. But this change from spontaneity to responsiveness is a normal part of the sexual life of a couple. Given that, it means we have to be intentional about creating that desire within us and between us. So as with the other two books, what I love here is that she walks you through just how to do that.
If you’re interested in finding out more about how this could improve your relationship, call me!
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