The symbol of the red lotus has always spoken to me. Does it to you too? I often
provide individual and couples counseling to those experiencing a major transition in
life. And the red lotus is an important symbol when contemplating transition – it
symbolizes what transition can be like. A lotus flower only grows in the murkiest,
darkest, and muddiest of waters. And it can’t grow anywhere else. But when it blooms,
it remains untouched by this dirt – beautiful, radiant, and glowing. Just as the roots
remain in this water, we cannot escape our past hurts and longings.

But we can learn to blossom. We can learn to make meaning and purpose where none
existed before. It’s not that we forget or simply “move on” as so many in our culture
like to say. It’s that instead of denying our own dirty water, our past mistakes, painful
things we ourselves have done and others have done to us, we understand its presence.
And we use it. We give it purpose and meaning so that we can have, indeed “own,”
moments of happiness, sunshine, radiance, and beauty.

We can also learn to surrender. Just as the lotus flower can’t spend all day in bloom,
neither can we expect to be happy and successful all the time. But we can learn to
cherish those moments when they arrive and tolerate life when they leave.
Psychologists call this capacity “resilience” – and it can be incredibly helpful to work on
in your own life. Despite pain and struggle, we really can laugh, enjoy life, be successful
(whatever success might mean for you) and we can love ourselves and others. I hope
this metaphor is helpful to you as well. I would love to hear your own stories of
resilience. If you think we may be a good fit, please give me a call.