Being in relationship as a sensitive person can be difficult. We pick up on others’ feelings easily – even when those we’re in relationship with aren’t aware they’re even having feelings. Adding to this dynamic, as highly sensitive people, we feel our feelings deeply. This can be scary to others and ourselves – it can also feel like a burden. So here are a few ideas to help you manage.
Use your sensitivity to the relationship’s advantage,
aka, let your partner NOT know what they’re feeling
As someone who feels deeply, you often pick up on your partners’ feelings. However if you’re in a relationship with a non-HSP, your partner is not this sensitive. Their radar just functions differently. She or he may not be aware of what they’re feeling – let alone that they’re even having feelings. Meanwhile, you’re pretty sure they’re feeling sad or scared for example. But, even with this incredible gift of sensitivity, we can still be wrong! My encouragement is to check it out with them. Let your partner know what’s going on for you and ask if you’re right instead of assuming. Say something like, “I’m not exactly sure what’s going on for you right now but I wonder if you’re feeling sad. Are you feeling sad right now? If so, how can I help? I only ask so that I can be helpful to you and to our relationship.”
And now comes the hard part – trust the answer you’re given even if it seems impossible or incredibly suspect! After all, we only live in our bodies, not our partners’. It’s true that it may be more helpful for them to know what they’re feeling – and you’re a useful ally on that front. But, they may not be ready for that information for a whole lot of reasons. And if they’re not ready, you insisting on what they’re feeling just isn’t helpful.
If you’d like to learn more, call me!
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