I like to think of therapy as a turning on and a turning inward of a flashlight.  In an attempt to safely make it through our often hectic lives, we move throughout our day unaware of ourselves, our reactions and feelings.  At the same time, we are often painfully aware of how others respond to us seemingly ineffectively.  In essence, our flashlight is pointed outward.  In therapy, you have an opportunity to shine the flashlight inward, patiently and compassionately wondering what’s inside.  By doing this, you also begin to take greater responsibility for yourself, and the way you are in relationship.  I am hopeful that with this newfound information will come freedom and wholeness for you and important others in your life.  My promise to clients is to provide a safe, hopeful and challenging environment in which both parties grow as a result.  

An essential part of successful therapy is a good fit between client and therapist.  As you search for the right therapist, I encourage you to take time to take care of yourself.  Slow down.  Breathe.  Remind yourself you are unique, struggling and succeeding like so many of us.  You got this far, didn’t you?  It may be helpful to develop a list of questions beforehand with specific items of interest to you to discuss.  What is most important is that you find someone to help you meet your goals in a safe and supported environment.  Are you seeking therapy for a short-term, time-limited basis and would appreciate an action-oriented therapist?  Do you like getting homework and assignments from your therapist?  Or are you looking for a longer-term, deeper approach?  Do you value insight?  These are all items to consider.  In addition, it’s important to know your prospective therapist’s policies on confidentiality, rescheduling, payment, fees, and the like.  If these are not acceptable to you or don’t help you immediately feel safe, move on.  After creating this list, you may not find yourself consulting it during your first appointment, but the process can be helpful in understanding and clarifying your needs.  In addition, meeting new people can be challenging and should you find yourself nervous or over-stimulated, the list can serve as a trusted advisor, reminding you to pay close attention to your needs and how you can best meet them.  

Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask if your therapist is in therapy her or himself.  The ability to form a strong therapeutic alliance is as essential for a therapist as for a client.  You want a therapist who is able to do that in her own personal life.  And you want a therapist who’s getting her own personal help.  And, as my therapist says, personal therapy is the best training for therapists.