When you’re in the midst of great loss, life can seem incredibly confusing. While
feeling great sadness, anger, or overwhelm, there may be people around you telling
you “it’s time to move on,” to just “let go,” or giving you a timetable in which to
mourn your loss. Meanwhile, you’re feeling incredible sadness, anger, and confusion.
Often well-intentioned family members and friends, who don’t want to see us suffer,
or haven’t given themselves the space they need to grieve, give advice that’s just not
that helpful.
But grieving needs to occur on your schedule and in a way that feels right to you.
And therapy is an appropriate place to do this. It’s important to choose a therapist
that gives you the space and freedom to discuss your loss, the inadequacy of our
friends’ and community’s response, and what life might look like now. In addition to
having a place to discuss your loss, therapy can be helpful in talking about your fond
memories. Feel free to bring pictures, meaningful keepsakes and rememberances so
that your therapist can share in your experience. You can also use that time to talk
through and create rituals that will help you mark anniversaries and milestones.
Working with a therapist who has experienced painful grief can help you feel
confident you will be listened to compassionately and knowingly. I encourage you to
ask if your therapist has experienced grief and/or if your therapist works on herself
through her own therapy. Please contact me if I can be of help. Grief is an area I
enjoy working with and feel I can be helpful.
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