There’s so much talk about mindfulness these days.
You see it everywhere. From a recent article in the New Yorker, to ads promoting yoga and yoga products, mindfulness is infiltrating our culture.
But what does it mean?
For sure, it means different things to different people. For me, when I boil it down to its most basic meaning, mindfulness entails simultaneously waking up and slowing down.
So what do I mean by waking up?
Often we walk through our lives as if we’re asleep. We believe the lies our culture tells us about how to be “good enough.” It’s about being pretty, thin, and rich. We grow up hearing these lies, and since we’re young and don’t know any better, we believe them. Often, our parents, unwittingly, reinforce them.
I’m reminded of a Gurdjieff quote, “You are in prison. If you wish to get out of prison, the first thing you must do is realize that you are in prison. If you think you are free, you can’t escape.”
When our culture lies to us, it also imprisons us. As Brene Brown says, the messages and expectations are like straightjackets. How can we be our authentic selves, if we don’t even know we’re not living authentically? What does it look like to be authentically me?
These are hard questions to answer, but so important to spend time on.
And therapy is great place to do just that.
So, back to our original question, what is mindfulness?
I believe that when we can mindfully engage in our lives, we learn that we get to decide for ourselves what “pretty” means, what weight feels good in our own bodies, and how we define “success.” This will look different for everyone, but what’s in common to those who have woken up is a belief that we get to decide these things for ourselves.
What’s in common is they don’t live their lives imprisoned by limiting, suffocating beliefs.
This requires a conscious awakening.
Once we really know this, mindfulness teaches us to slow down.
Slow down before buying that next pair of shoes. Slow down before stepping onto the scale.
Or as Lynne Twist in the Soul of Money might say, slow down before buying into the lie that more is better, and there’s never enough.
We can help ourselves slow down by practicing breathing, not rushing through meals or traffic, consciously engaging with our partners at the end of the day instead of a simple “Hey, I’m home.”
Therapy is a great place to practice slowing down. I encourage you to call me if you’ve been thinking about it. And thank you!
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