Often during painful transitions, we turn on ourselves. An otherwise dormant innercritic might come to you – and loudly. I know that during painful transitions in my ownlife, like experiencing the death of my father as an older adolescent, I often told myself I“should” be handling this better. Painful transitions can mean we compare ourselves toothers. We say to ourselves, “I shouldn’t still be feeling this badly.” Or, “Why can’t I justget over it and move on.”Certainly, society doesn’t help. We are bombarded with images and messages that tellus feeling sad is scary, and that if something bad happens we...

Polls show increasing amounts of Americans are worried about the health of our democracy.I’m one of them. Hearing political leaders call for extreme acts of violence towards those theydeem their enemy is terribly frightening. And it’s certainly undemocratic. That’s to say nothingof policy proposals that seek to create greater inequality and disparage difference. But if I’mbeing honest, I have used incredibly violent language against myself. I have treated myself asunequal, lesser than, not as capable, and have definitely not celebrated my difference.While I wish I could control the outcome of the election I cannot. What I can do is work...

I may be putting myself out of business here but couples counseling as a client is SO HARD!When your partner is in the room arguing with you, you get the “opportunity” to see yourself inaction. Do you attack back – unleashing insults? Do you shut down in silence – putting up a wallof ice? Do you condescend to your partner – letting them know how uninformed they are? Doyou see how overbearing and controlling you can be? (Ahem, not me once ever, not ever.) Doyou sit there with your arms crossed looking at me the therapist with the expression: “You...