Grief is one of the most universal human experiences — and one of the most misunderstood. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or even a version of life you hoped for, your feelings are valid, real, and worth honoring.

As therapists, we often see clients come in thinking they’re “not grieving the right way.” They might say, “It’s been six months, I should be over it,” or, “I’m not crying — does that mean I’m numb?” But here’s the truth: there is no one way to grieve.

What Is Grief?

Grief is our natural response to loss. It encompasses emotional pain, physical symptoms, cognitive changes, and spiritual questioning. It can show up as sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, or even relief — sometimes all in one day.

While grief is often associated with death, we also grieve breakups, miscarriages, moves, retirement, illness, and major life changes. Grief shows up when something meaningful is no longer part of our lives, and it asks for space, not solutions.

The Myth of the “Stages”

You may have heard of the “five stages of grief” — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While this model, developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, has helped many understand aspects of loss, it’s not a step-by-step process. People don’t move through grief in a neat order, and many never experience all five stages. That’s okay.

Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows. Some days feel manageable; others hit you out of nowhere. This is not a setback — it’s part of the process.

When Grief Becomes Complicated

For some, grief softens over time. For others, it can feel like the pain never lessens. If grief remains intense and unchanging for many months, or interferes with your ability to function, it may be what’s known as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. Therapy can help untangle this experience and guide you toward healing.

There’s also anticipatory grief — the grief we feel before a loss, often in the case of terminal illness or major life transitions. This too deserves support and acknowledgment.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a safe space to explore your grief without judgment or pressure to “move on.” A therapist can help you:

• Make sense of complex emotions
• Process guilt, regret, or unresolved issues
• Create rituals to honor your loss
• Reconnect with your sense of self and purpose
• Learn how to hold both grief and joy at the same time

Grief doesn’t mean forgetting. Healing doesn’t mean erasing pain. It means learning to live with loss in a way that allows you to carry it — not be crushed by it.

You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone

If you’re grieving — whether your loss was recent or long ago — your pain is real, and you are not broken. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of courage and care. For help, call me at 512.669.0395.