On her way back from lunch with a group of men at work, my client continued to feel excited.
She had just landed a job at a tech start-up and was invited spontaneously. She and four male
colleagues all geeked out about their favorite comic books and video games. As the
conversation continued, the four men commented on an attractive woman passing by on the
street; to my client it was objectifying but not creepy. Instantly her excitement faded; in its
place came fear and shame.
How would you feel? How would you respond?
I’m interested in understanding and helping women in Austin working in tech related fields and
start-ups. In my clinical experience, these women – and maybe I’m talking to you right now
–are often high-functioning, high-achieving employees who internalize toxic messages around
gender norms. Perhaps they are the only women in the room where bro culture runs rampant.
That culture can be professionally exciting, innovative, wildly creative and enormously biased
and sexist. More specifically, I’m interested in the paradox between this level of innovation and
creativity on one hand and on the other the same, tired, enraging, and unexamined
misogynistic culture that seems to inhabit these spaces. Given their ambitious inner drives,
these women often succeed while inside they beat themselves up. And given the constraints of
the culture and the deep desire to fit it, they don’t talk about it. And not talking about it keeps
them stuck and hating themselves – which inevitably inhibits their own innovative, ambitious
drives.
Were you drawn to this work culture too? Perhaps at first you were excited by your work —
and yet now you come home at the end of every day and feel awful. And you’re not sure
why.
Therapy can offer safe place to talk through these dynamics. If you’re interested in getting
more help with work experiences and cultures like these, I encourage you to call me.
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