Here’s the truth: creating and maintaining intimacy in relationships takes an effort! But we’re often so busy with kids, work commitments, or just making it through our day that we forget to show our love and support to the person that matters the most!
Of course, in some relationships showing and expressing intimacy is not safe to do. If you identify as LGBTQ, showing affection publically can put you at risk. Or if there are ways in which your relationship is emotionally not safe, for instance if your partner has been unfaithful, it’s also not safe to express affection. If that describes you, I want you to consider individual or couples counseling. You need extra support!
But if you do enjoy an emotionally and physically safe relationship, and your intimacy is suffering, it’s time to slow down and take stock. And starting this moment I want you to re-prioritize your relationship.
Here are 5 things you can do to TODAY to improve your connection and show your partner how much she or he mean to you.
- Commit to making more eye contact with your partner.
- It’s so easy at home to talk to one another from different rooms or focus on the dishes you’re washing and not look up. When you notice this happening, slow down. Take a moment to walk over to your partner, look her in the eye and have a conversation.
- Text your partner loving things!
- This one’s a no-brainer. And it’s something my husband is great at. Unexpectedly throughout the day, he texts me how much he loves me, or how much he believes in me. No matter what’s happening, it fills me with such joy and love for him! Try this one right now!
- Greet your partner when you come home from the day
- Whether you’re the one already home or arriving, make a commitment to each other that you’ll make eye contact, hug, kiss, and greet each other lovingly.
- Schedule date nights
- If you’re like me, you keep a calendar or meetings, phone calls, doctor’s appointments and such. But what’s probably missing from that calendar are date nights. Talk with you partner and find a time both of you can commit to weekly. Find a babysitter if you need one. Talk with your partner about how you want to use this time. What are your expectations? Do you prefer romantic dates to new restaurants in town? Or would you rather cozy up on the couch, eat take-out, and talk about your day? And if watching a movie is your preference, add in time to connect with each other – where you can make eye contact and have conversation.
- Surprise your partner with something loving
- Every once and a while my husband comes home with cookies or flowers. And every time he does, I get so excited! I love it! What’s great about it is he does it at unexpected times – not just during anniversaries or birthdays. Of course I love fresh flowers in the house and my husband knows it. What does your partner delight in? Commit to taking time this week to show you know.
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